Vulcan Potty Prayer
It is well known throughout the universe that Vulcans are emotionally challenged.
They never cry.
There is one thing that will bring a tear to a Vulcan eye - an undelivered load of bricks.
So in their infinite wisdom, the Vulcans developed a Vulcan Potty Prayer to help them through this difficult and trying ordeal.
“Thin long and softer.”
Invoke the Vulcan Potty Prayer whenever you sit on the command chair but are having trouble producing the captain’s log.