Buddhist Bowel Movement Mantra
For ages, scholars have wondered:
If the Buddha eats only vegetables, why is the Buddha so… big?
Well, the truth has come out and it explains why the Buddha is usually found in a lotus position…
It seems that the Buddhist concept of suffering began with a worldly tribulation that we all experience - IT workers more than others.
In esoteric terms, it is the suffering caused when an unstoppable force (urge to void) hits an immovable object (uncooperative sphincter). In layman terms, it is the pain that accompanies an undeliverable batch of Havana cigars with Double Corona ring gauge.
For centuries Buddhists were slaves to this fecal cycle of suffering until, one day, an eight year old boy taught Badactor Buddha a Mantra to free mankind of this painful burden.
The conversation went something like this…
Badactor Buddha: The poo will not move!
Poo Boy: Do not try and move the poo. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.
Badactor Buddha: What truth?
Poo Boy: There is no poo.
Badactor Buddha: There is no poo?
Poo Boy: Then you’ll see, that it is not the poo that moves, it is only yourself.
Badactor Buddha tries to make a puzzled face but only succeeds in making us painfully aware of all the money he saved by not taking acting lessons.
“There is no poo.”
Chant this mantra whenever you are meditating on making log but the log denies its log-nature.