Bookstore Stool Chart
The Bookstore Stool Chart is a scientific chart that shows the shape/consistency of stool that certain types of bookstores and libraries tend to induce.
This chart may not be suitable for the squeamish and should be avoided during (or immediately after) meals…
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Types 1 through 4 are caused by natural laxatives such as bookstores and libraries.
Type 5 is caused by magazines which may have side effects (magazines make people dumb and give them the urge to buy things they can’t afford).
Types 6 and 7 are common products of chemical laxatives like those found in fast food, greasy pan pizzas and faux Mexican cuisine.
A “Walk of Shame” is defined as the steps taken from the stall, to the sink and then to the door after a “noisy” or “aromatic” fecal experience in the presence of one or more peers. This shame can be mitigated or eliminated with a well-timed courtesy flush.
This chart is, of course, based on the Bristol Stool Chart (Warning: PDF File - Use free Foxit Reader to view PDF files quickly) developed at the University of Bristol and published in the Scandinavian Journal of Gastroenterology in 1997.
While the above chart should only be viewed with tongue placed firmly in cheek, the actual Bristol chart it was based on can be used to determine the length of time stool spent in the colon and can give insights into abdominal health.
For example, Types 1 and 2 are indicative of constipation. You should loosen your belt, increase fiber intake, exercise more and drink plenty of water to avoid these unpleasant fecal experiences. Please read Constipation - Twelve Tips on How to Avoid It and One Reason Why You Should.
Types 6 and 7 are indicative of diarrhea and may indicate bowel or eating disorders.
Of course, you should never go to an online source for medical advice. If the shape or consistency of your deposits in the Porcelain Bank bother you, see your doctor (sooner rather than later).
Bookstore Stool Chart by www.login-logout.com. Derived from Bristol Stool Chart image created by Kyle Thompson and released under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 1.0 license. Thank you for releasing it, Kyle.