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This is a brief tour of the Antiquarium Bookstore located in downtown Omaha.

Let’s see if this bookstore can help us back the big brown motorhome out of the garage…
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Based on the classic music video by Sir Mix-A-Lot (NSFW), this video by Dan Smith of Nice Ski Mask Records features bookshelves packed with books and a bible the size of a bed.

Will a huge holy book and humorous video be sufficient to summon hoopsnake?
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Echoing the sentiments of IT workers everywhere, the boy in this video does not want bikes or video games.

He wants log.

Can a classic animation style and cute song about log help us drop a few of our own?
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Fore-edge painting is a fascinating technique for including hidden decorations in books. When the pages of a book are fanned, an image appears. If the pages are gilded, the image disappears when the book is relaxed.

Will these silent videos of white gloves squeezing thick books help make the insides of our intestines disappear when the bowel is relaxed?
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While book assembly is a fascinating video in itself, our readers are probably more concerned with How Bricks are Made.

Will a book assembly line, soothing narration and piano music help us assemble some lines of our own?
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Health Warning:

Laying thick brick may cause unexpected erections…
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Books.

The all-natural method for producing prairie dog moments.

Will a bookshelf full of moving books be enough to trigger movement in our midsections?
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Libraries and old books are prayer beads and bibles when it comes to summoning the sewer snake.

Will Mr. Bean’s skit The Library be enough to bring on the birth of a Spineless Brownfish?
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Read or Die (hereafter ROD) is a Japanese animation about a substitute teacher whose house is filled with… you guessed it, books!

The animation is only ten minutes long but is full of books and bookstores.

Will an animation about books be able to give us enough material to build a log cabin in Porcelain Valley?
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In this classic Sesame Street skit, the Cookie Monster goes to a library seeking cookies, much to the chagrin of a temperamental librarian.

Our kind readers, of course, come to this library seeking cable not cookies…

Will the combination of books, library and calm-inducing childhood memories be enough to help us lay down some blind mullet?
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